It's me! After what seemed to be forever, this big head decided to show up, but with a lengthy and rather personal update on what's being going on over here.
If you're even in the slightest interested, don't click back.
A SIMPLE OUTLOOK
A. A simple introduction
B. A simple apology
C. School and exams
D. Family Issues
E.Covid's implications
F. Mary plans
a. College
b. The future~being an adult
c. Her future
d. The blog and possible business
G. Writing plans
H: Random thoughts
I. A simple conclusion
J. A simple question
K. A Simple Call To Action
A. A SIMPLE INTRODUCTION
This is not a dairy post.
This is not a journal post.
This is a personal update post I pray goes viral.
Lol(but I secretly want that).
I took so much time thinking about how rad and lengthy my comeback post would be, but I ended up with this. A perfect excuse to make up for not showing up for a week now.
This is going to be a LIFE UPDATE post.
Why? I figured this is an academic lifestyle blog right? And I've not even once really talked about my life.
The academic part will soon start showing, but for now let me satisfy the life part of it by posting about my life.
Well, not really personal things. I'm part of a really reserved family,but that doesn't mean I can't write my heart out, only write.
For this week, be expecting more of the Mary's than the Says from this blog, so stay tuned.
For today, I'll take you through a journey of my recent life.
B. A Simple Apology
I figured it would be very rash of me if I just came out of nowheree, after a 1 week hiatus, and not properly apologize to all my lovely readers and supporters who had been expecting me.
There's no excuse for not showing up when promised, neither can I justify the reason I didn't post even once last week, but I would like to lay all that aside, and simply say Sorry.
This my battle against inconsistency is not going to end very soon I know, and it seems procastination is creeping back in small small. With all the support and encouraging comments you guys have given me, it was uncalled for on my side to just go out and not say even one word during my absence.
Thank you guys for your love and support, and this I can promise y'all; even if I don't post for a month, I will definitely show face.
C. School and exams
Gosh, I wish I could get this over with!
I shout to myself everyday, in my room, after remembering my jam-packed series of external exams is just a few months away.
I should be happy the government keeps rescheduling and postponing it,no thanks to covid-19, at least I'll have enough time to prepare WELL, but it's the opposite for me. I want to be done and done with it at last!
My parents constant admonition and bickering about passing my outgoing exams in flying colours is now choking, as they don't want to let me hear word about it.
My older siblings by the way, who've passed through the same phase, simply tell me what I want to hear, but I always beckon for more when they stop advising me.
"See, all these things, these exams aren't hard at all. WAEC oh, NECO oh, JAMB oh, they're all just tests if you really see them as so. They test if you've really gone to the 636 school system you claim to have gone; and they aren't even hard! Just read and understand what you're reading, do past questions and you're good to go. Stop worrying too much about all these things abeg", my oldest brother would consolidate me.
"Mary, let me tell you the truth, school na scam! All these mumu exams your parents and teachers are hell-bent on forcing you to pass well aren't even a sure entry into university. Even the university you're entering, if you get your degree, foh dis Nigeria, if noh be better course you one study, you think sey you go see work? And even the work sef, how long will you wait till dey promote you till the position that you'll be earning like 2 mil naira per year, and even the position isn't guaranteed financial freedom.......", and he goes on and on. My second older brother, the awfully reserved one always chatters a lot with me.
"I wonder why you're killing yourself reading like this. Me, enh, me that I didn't even read the day before JAMB, and I got like 250+, talkless of you Mary, just don't kill yourself with all these things. The exams are very simple; enter the hall and write wetin u sabi, and I know sey u sabi book".....my third older brother would playfully tease and tell me anytime he saw me fixated on a textbook.
As for my older sister, she was more or less a distant supporter, both physically and mentally. She just tells me all will be well, I would pass even if I don't read, and I shouldn't stress too much.
So, yeah. My mind these days have been inhabited with thoughts of whether or not I can pass the JAMB (Joint Admission and Matriculation Board) cut-off mark mandated by my choice of university to study the course I choose. Also, I've been thinking with my past results in the WAEC GCE exams, that I wasn't totally satisfied with, I wonder, hope and pray I'm able to attain 6 wonderful credits in my WAEC(West African Examination Council) and NECO exams, in one sitting.
However, school has been my stress relief spot. Though I wonder why teachers in that school are more focused on giving notes than attempting past questions which has proved to be more helpful preparing for such exams, school is okay.
Not that I denounce my dislike of going to the place, sometimes that place can be hell, but all in all, it's cool, for now.
D. Family Issues
Last month was terribly draining, physically and mentally.
My birth month which I prayed could have been the best time of this perilous year turned out to be the worst yet.
Far from my personal struggles, it was from one family wahala to another.
A call from town and money was needed urgently for a surgical operation.
A call from village and we lost a dear one.
A bad dream and we were summoned for morning devotion to pray against any life-claiming spirit hovering around the family.
Another call and we hear a family friend was gone, forever.
The same day, we discovered, late actually, that our very close neighbour and dear friend had passed away.
And it was just like that.
A loss, a bad dream, an emergency and we managed.
Like literally, managed.
My mom who would cook concursion rice with half a kilo of chicken or sometimes sardin and chopped meat surprised all of us one day when she dished us the delicacy with Pomo.
It went for weeks, my 17th birthday passed like any other stressful day that April and now, my friends and mates tell me I really lost weight ( I really did).
More recently, more calls from town about some arguments and such, but this May has proved to be more bearable than last month, as least for now.
E.Covid's implications
I initially wanted to post about this last year, since we were in lockdown and was most suitable then, but God knows it wasn't entirely my fault the blog was inactive.
Here we are.
2021, as I expected it to be, a continuation of 2020.
It's not new to any of us that covid-19 has come to stay, that's why all it's implications have become normal but it's damages has cost everyone in this world..a lot.
For my family and I, it's cost us more than we imagined and still imagining. We didn't lose any of our dear ones to the killer virus, thank God, but we did lose one thing that scarred us from hence, Financial security.
After my dad retired, we were already notified that we weren't going to be enjoying as much as we did before, but as the advent of this virus geared up in Nigeria, we were sure and fully clarified that we weren't financially secured.
Security?
Yes, that too.
Even the rich men here fear their lives, talkless of us.
My dad calls us middle class people, but I believe we are not. Monetarily, we are poor,but our assets give us a status of affluence.
But, I digress.
How has covid-19 affected me personally?
It is definitely tied to what I mentioned earlier; on the realisation of our seemingly recurring fate of financial instability, and my slight maturation in that aspect of life alone, I have taken it upon myself to be the saving grace of this family. That, I promised my past, present and future self.
Mary will make it in this life, in different areas and spheres of this life as man's existence holds and my story and 2030 life will not just tell but move people to pursue their aspirations head on, no matter how bizzare and varied they may be.
F. Mary plans for:
a. College
b. The future~being an adult
c. Her future
d. The blog and possible business
I plan..A LOT.
Sometimes I sincerely feel like I plan too much, maybe that's why when I look forward to something that I'm sure is meant to happen, and it doesn't happen, it deeply saddens me.
I am a very calculated person.
I am a very meticulous person, all thanks to my perfectionist of a father.
I am a very immaculate and starry-eyed girl that sees the future from the past and the outcome from the present.
I aspire....A LOT.
To be a lot of things....To live a kind of life, with not only one name, but different kinds of life but with one unique persona. I will elaborate on this in the latter part.
For starters, I've been planning and investing most of my time sorting and sketching out my life in a decapitated notebook and hoping the words written could not remain abstract realities.
a. College
Oh dear Lord.
I honestly don't know what I feel about this presently, as I'm writing this post.
Three years ago, I had longed and anticipated entering university, to finally have FREEDOM but now, I'm not so sure if I'm excited about going there and what I will get from it.
I've been reading a lot of books and with mass media playing a huge role shaping my recent philosophies of life, school, in general dulls me.
Knowledge excites me. It reckons I invest my time, effort and money acquiring much more it has to even offer.
But then, school, the institution of learning, of knowledge, dulls me.
I don't know whether it's the building, the residence area or just the concept of school passed down through generations of being mandatory for success in life, but the entire thing dulls and to a tipping point, irritates me.
School can be a wonderful place, with wonderful opportunities to grow, network, develop yourself and socialisation skills and so much more it offers.
Still, not everyone is meant for the school world.
I have realised I'm one of those people, soon enough.
There's nothing I can do to change it, and there's nothing I can do to escape the world. I'm leaning into the tertiary stage and I can't stop it. I'm in a country a degree is required to have at least three square meals a day, and with not money classes in education this day and age assisted with parents and the older generations outdated philosophies, earning money is more valued here than making money. The case will change gradually, but till then, I have to go with my parents decisions.
As per the plans, I segmented it into important parts I need to take care of before I feel I'm ready for university, even though I'm mentally not.
Choice of university☑️
Choice of course☑️
Getting in(exams written and passed, grants or scholarships secured)
Application process(aptitude test, screening, matriculation...)
Fees
Materials
Residency ☑️
Feeding
Income (blogging☑️, freelancing☑️ authorship,tutoring ☑️, modelling, social media influencing)
Online learning☑️
Choice of university☑️
This is meant to be a long story but for your sake, I'll summarise it as this:
My mom had told my family and I that I'd been destined to go to university of Ibadan, and so I'd been fully focusing all my efforts on actualizing it, but because of covid's implications, UI isn't admitting students for the next two years. My dad figured I can't wait(and I can't) till their hands are free to enter school, so while registering for JAMB, he called and told me to choose UniUyo, University of Uyo. My mom agreed.
So, my parents choice of university is UniUyo.
My choice? I don't want to go to university, mom, dad!!😂
Choice of course☑️
This also was a long process, and took me a long time figuring out.
As I mentioned before, I have my hands and eyes on so many different things and interests, so finding a course which was both interesting to me and a potential job-getter for my parents peace of mind was strenuous.
In just last year September, I traveled through 10 different course choices namely:
Anthropology
Public relations
Sociology
English language and literature (my sis studied this so I refused to be a repeater)
Linguistics
Psychology
Philosophy
Mathematics
Communication and language arts
Musicology
Funny enough, my mind never even once delegated on studying the most popular and professional arts and humanities course: LAW.
Not even famous art courses like:
Journalism
Mass communications
International relations and diplomacy
Theatre arts(God, no)
After all the hustle and bustle, I landed on philosophy as my main choice of course of study in the University because of one little book my oldest brother gave me last year November, but that's a story for another day.
In addition, I got to also choose side courses I would love to learn online and be certified with;
(In order of importance)
Public relations (this was initially my main choice of course, but UniUyo doesn't offer this)
Psychology
Mathematics
Linguistics
English language and literature
Musicology
Residency ☑️
Oh my dear sister.
Yes!
You guessed right!
I will be bunking with my lovely sis over there, with her boyfriend coming once in a while to visit.
Uyo, I've heard, is a wonderful and modernized city, and the university is a sight to see.
I sure look forward to seeing all of it!
Although, I somehow desire to rent a hostel in the university to experience hostel life at least once in life, I also want to know how it feels to live with a close one(my sister for that matter)in a beautiful city.
Income (blogging☑️, freelancing☑️ authorship,tutoring ☑️, modelling, social media influencing)
First of all, I'm 17 and I'm less than a year from becoming an adult and in the stage of wanting to be independent. So, I can earn money now as far as it is regulated and supervised by an adult (that'll be my closest brother).
It shouldn't shock you or anyone who's entering university to want to earn a living from that stage. As you even enter high school, it's advicable you start doing something and save for university.
University can be daunting, as I've heard and you need to be physically, psychology, emotionally and financially ready for it.
That's why, I need some few savings in my account before I enter and already find a stable source of income upon entering university.
There are simply three ways I earn money now:
Blogging
Freelancing, and
Tutoring
These income sources, I pray, will be multiplied soon so I can fully flex and live comfortably in university, but for now, these are what I have and use to plan and save for the next stage of my life.
If you want to know exactly how I make money from these sources, feel free to leave a comment.
Online learning☑️
Bagging a university degree is good ,but it's not good enough to survive here in Nigeria
My oldest brother always echoes in my ear.
In Nigeria, read, write exams,pass, enter university and graduate with good honors and your degree, but if you noh Sabi even one skill, you're done for, except, you're highly favoured or blessed.
My uncle had admonished me the last time I saw him, in Lagos.
This is what has made me plan really well even from now, that this internet must serve me well in skill learning and education.
I summarise my plans as thus:
Take courses: degree programmes, training programmes
Learn skills: offline and online dependent skills
Learn languages
Learn CODING ( this is on its own because it is particularly important in the present day and age)
Why?
If you want to know, let me know and I'll answer your question with a fully loaded post.
Since we're done looking at my plans for college, let's get onto the next part.
b. The future~being an adult
I'm going to be a legal adult very soon. I wasn't sure until I finally got my identity slip and held unto it. It hit me.
Mary, you're not a small girl anymore oh.
Time does fly by; I remember this same big headed girl running around the house wearing only a pantie, with the only worry in her head is if mommy left home, how long would she cry?
Now, that same big headed girl seems to carry ALL the worries in her big but tiny head and her life seems more difficult than what's in store for her.
My plans for becoming an adult are rather simple:
Become legally certified(papers/documents)
Get ID card☑️
Get drivers licence
Get voter's card
Get international passport
Get international bank account+credit card
Choose life path to follow ☑️
Do what all adults do
Do what most adults don't do
Get ID card☑️
What took me 2 weeks to have in my possession is finally mine.
Well not really.
The laminated slip is mine
But the ID card itself, I heard it takes about 5 years to get that.
I'm still happy I can now be nationally recognised, as this is my first step into adulthood.
Choose life path to follow ☑️
This will be explained well in the next segment but for writing sake, you can try guess what I chose in this snippet of scribbles I wrote some few days ago:
Thursday 7th, May, 2021
So, I'm a content creator, an introvert, not an entertainer, a star?
I do want to be a vibrant inspiration for young girls and boys and women all around the world, through my life path 1- THE STAR is born, but something nudges me that my pre-destined life path is and should be life path 2- THE OUTCAST (something like that quiet girl lost one her thoughts, writings and books).
c. Her future
Now, let's talk about me.
Hehe.
To talk even the slightest about ones future you need to know the past, right?
My past is something I like to keep private but everytime I talk about it, it sounds like it was all a bad dream and a funny story at the same time.
I did things I regret.
I was a rebellious child.
I committed stupid sins.
I planted stupid habits in my life that are now haunting me.
I bore the weight of guilt for a long time.
I messed up big time...a lot.
My parents once lost their trust in me...
But....
I'm still living, and honestly, I wonder how and WHY.
The thought of it startles me and makes me think...a lot.
My life and experiences have come a long way from past ME and now instead of it getting more sorted out, my destiny becoming more visible, it's getting farther from arms reach and I can't sight it.
I know most of y'all reading are like me, deeply lost in this fast changing and ever growing digital world, that tells you all is possible if you believe, dream and work hard, but they don't know how overwhelming EVERYTHING is...I hope this strategy helps even one person who reads this.
After all these months of asking for a revelation of my destiny, or life's calling and pondering and deep thinking, I've been fortunately able to pull out three life choicest for myself.
LIFE PATH 1: THE STAR/ICON/LEGEND
Main persona- Artistic genius and philosopher
Blogger-Author-Model-Youtuber-Artiste-Influencer-Brand Ambassador-Enterpreneur-Podcaster-Tv personality-Actress-Activist-Professor-Motivational Speaker
LIFE PATH 2: THE OUTCAST
Main persona-Intrinsic bookworm
Blogger-Author-Poet-Teacher-Podcaster-Professor-Motivational Speaker
LIFE PATH 3: THE TEEN BILLIONAIRE
Main persona- Intellectual billionaire
Blogger-Author-Genuis-Tech Developer-Enterprenuer-Business woman-Motivational Speaker
If you can also notice, all life paths I've chosen:
- Start with me being a blogger and Author
- End with me being a motivational speaker
- Have main personas
And there's a reason for each.
All life paths I've chosen start with me being a blogger and author, because I am presently that. I am working my way from this stage henceforth.
Also, all life paths I've chosen end with me being a motivational speaker, because that's a satisfying ending for my life. I love knowledge and I love sharing my knowledge more. Inspiring people is my ultimate goal and what's the use of inspiring people when you won't be there to also motivate them with your life or actions to keep moving forward?
Last but not the least, all life paths I've chosen have main personas because I feel everybody has different personas, but there's always one that kinda sums up what the person is about in life. That's the reason for that.
Moreover, with all these things I've written, what is truly my life path? That I don't fully know yet. If things work in the favour of one, I walk into it and pursue. I'm just happy things are getting easier for me now than it was a few months ago.
Like I said before, my ultimate goal is to inspire people.
So, even if I choose to follow life path 1 or life itself pushes me to life path 2, this Mary will always be an epitome of inspiration, that I promise you reading this.
I also took time to write out my personal goals and development I wish to achieve this year and onwards:
- Discard bad habits
- Healthy skin
- Healthy body
- Health hair
- Good attitude
- Positivity
- Financial freedom
- Fulfilment
- Spiritual growth
- Psychological growth
- Destiny realised
- Unfriend toxic friends
- Good company
- Good results
- Build healthy relationships
- Network
- Win scholarships
- Practice practical arts skills
d. The blog and possible business
I have been planning for many things these couple of weeks, and the blog definitely didn't escape my mind during this process.
It has even become my priority after my brothers' long chastening and encouragement yesterday. Honestly, I don't think I could've even posted today if not for them.
They kept on telling me it's a business I have just planted and I'm growing but I refused to accept. Not until last night I realised it really was.
This pushed MarySays from number 8 on my priority list to a staggering number one!
My brothers saw potential in this blog when I saw nothing but an electronic diary...and so I thank them.
My plans for the blog had always been simple right from day one:
Write your mind
Type it out
Edit it fairly
Promote it
Connect with other bloggers
And wait for it to grow
But now I'm business-minded and with all the information and material on my finger tips, it's gotten way more complex.
I need to look at:
Content generation
Content optimisation
Content marketing
Promotions
Connections and networking
Collaborations
Digital creation
....and so much more
There are a few things I'm excited about:
My own domain name is processing and then I'll finally be an independent blogger.
The blog post structure has been finally sketched out and from my next post, you guys will see how it looks like.
So much content ideas you guys will so love and enjoy, stay tuned because it'll only get better from here.
The blog's social media outlets are going to be fully optimised soon and up and going.
The blog is going somewhere...it's slow but steady.
I rounded up my May goals for the blog as thus:
- Reach 10,000 views
- Reach 1,000 followers
- Own my blog
- Have published 50 posts
- Earn $****
Social media outlets
Pinterest, reach:
- 3,000 monthly visits
- 10,000 views
- 1,000 followers
- Open page
- Reach 5,000 likes
- 1,000 followers
- 10,000 views
All these would be only possible if you guys make it possible. Let's work together, shall we?
And that's all for planning
Whew!
Oh I forgot.
G. Writing plans
I've been writing...a lot these days
I've been doing many things a lot these days lol.
But writing, has been one of the things I've been really going for.
I mentioned earlier I'm am author now well soon-to-be published author and I'm fully geared for that.
My plans for writing this year are as follows:
- Write 500 blog posts ( I don't know how I'll do it but I will)
- Write and publish 5 ebooks(on various subjects)
- Write 1 novel, 2 short stories and 1 poem book
- Publish the poem book
- Take part in multiple writing competitions
Pray for me guys:)
H: Random thoughts
Upon all the plans and goals I set for myself and I've shared with you guys today, I don't know what the future holds.
Nonetheless, this post can be my testimonial in the future whether or not all my aspirations turn into reality.
I. A SIMPLE CONCLUSION
This was a very personal post. I wish to encourage transparency and intimacy in this blog that's why I posted this after my week long writing hiatus.
I hope this post was an inspiration, encouragement and gave you some ideas of who this faceless Mary is and wishes to be.
J. A SIMPLE QUESTION
Have some random thoughts of your own?
Leave a comment down below.
Thanks for stopping by!
Stay tuned for more from MarySays.
K. A Simple Call To Action
Hey! It's MARYSAYS
Don't forget to subscribe, like and share this post if it was helpful.
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